


Unpoled Magnets

by nausicaa_of_phaeacia



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Buffy's perspective, F/M, Gen, Post "Chosen", Post Season 07, Post Series, Post Sunnydale, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa_of_phaeacia/pseuds/nausicaa_of_phaeacia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cleveland, Ohio: Buffy and Giles have gone to fight the Hellmouth, along with a few among those who survived Sunnydale. Buffy finds something to give to Giles on the occasion of his birthday which clarifies a lot of things between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unpoled Magnets

**Author's Note:**

> Written in one go, as always. I own everything that's obviously not Joss Whedon's :)
> 
> SORRY ABOUT THE MISTAKES. I was in a hurry when I uploaded this and haven't had the time to correct it thoroughly (but will do so as soon as I can.)

**Unpoled Magnets**

They had driven and driven, leaving behind more and more among them as they went, the ones who were too drained to continue fighting, the ones who needed at least the illusion of peace, the ones who still had family. In the end, no-one was left but Faith and patched-up Robin, and the ones Xander would have called the core group: Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Willow and Xander; and, of course, Kennedy, who had vowed to go wherever Willow was going. They were to take care of the Hellmouth in Cleveland -- without the Council. Their time at Sunnydale could not be repeated, thus, their time in Ohio, although not a completely unhappy one, became a very lonely and bleak, and suddenly very real one. Xander had instantly found work through a family friend and become the manager of a construction firm. Dawn picked up school again and seemed to be the happiest of them all. School's challenges, she was best at, and especially enjoyed learning foreign languages, such as Italian and French. Buffy resignedly went back to having a day job as a waitress at a diner. Whilst Willow managed to get a job as a shopkeeper at a herbs and tea place, poor Kennedy, who had glorious ballet skills, ended up dancing in a revue show she hated. Still, all of them had been able to find something that paid their rent.

Giles, who had spent all his savings on having them settle down in Cleveland, struggled to find work. The libraries weren't hiring, and he didn't want to engage in anything menial for fear of overtaxing his body (Watcher/Slayer training, which had become rare, was already very hard for him and his tortured, ragged body). Not that he was weak; but with all his battle wounds, he figured he should grant his poor bones some rest. Eventually, he got a job as a part-time shopkeeper at a not-so-sophisticated bookshop. Xander let him stay at his place (the girls were sharing a flat), so, with his friend's allowances, the place was affordable for Giles, but it was still a struggle. After several months of making ends meet just-so, Giles decided to go to a pawn shop and traded in his family ring for a guitar. That way, he was able to earn just a little more by making music on the street in places he was sure he'd never meet anyone of his friends. Xander had noticed, of course, but kept quiet in order not to humiliate the Watcher. Everyone among the group had lost someone along the road, and the thought of Anya still stung in Xander's eyes, but he knew that Giles had been through more during the years than anyone else. Giles, while his style of clothing had stayed the same, had gotten terribly close to his former self again, but with an additional touch of sadness. He did his best to be very helpful to Buffy and the others in Hellmouth matters, but made a point of hiding from everyone on all other accounts. Only Dawn managed to drag him to have coffee with her every now and then, and Giles complied happily. Dawn had never questioned him and showed him her love openly now. She had grown so much, and Giles was very proud of her for having the courage to pick up school again.

After a few months, Buffy had made it to head waitress at the diner; that came with a very slight salary raise, and she was happy to provide Dawn with a season ticket for the bus so she didn't have to walk to school from the other end of the city. When their first summer came, Buffy remembered Giles' birthday for the first time in all the years. When they had all sat in the town hall, all lined up, to get new identity cards and insurance papers and all, Buffy had secretly glanced at Giles' form which he filled out in such a hurry that his handwriting got shaky. Deciphering his birthday, she had pulled her sleeve up an inch and written it on her skin, determined to memorize it from then on. So it was that, when July 14th was coming up, she charmed her boss and got the day off.

The relationship she had with Giles hadn't improved vastly. On some days, one would even have thought there was none. After Sunnydale, Giles, for fear of any kind of rejection, had retreated completely, and especially from her. Only Xander, as his flatmate, and wonderful young Dawn had achieved a status in his life that qualified them to bond with the former Watcher. Nothing had deteriorated between Buffy and him, but not improved, either. Rather than that, it had come to a certain peace. They had a long history of ups and downs, crashes that could have lasted forever, wounds, shared pain, and intimate moments of mutual respect and understanding which, years later, still begged for descriptive words. Both carried a burden of shared memories -- partly, those were memories of carrying responsibility of literally apocalyptic gravity -- which had both the capacity of gentle comfort and torturing pain. So many things had gone wrong between them, and so many more hadn't been spoken of altogether. 

Giles had given up -- not just the hope for a future aside of his occupation as a Watcher, but also for any clarifying improvement of things between them. Of course, after all the events linked to Sunnydale, they had both forged and unfaltering loyalty towards each other, and that was what still kept them together, what made them get along. And get along, they did when they were working on Hellmouth-connected things. Everything used to be casual between them, but Buffy had long noticed that Giles hadn't dropped one single smile since their escape. Not even a sarcastic one, and the thought pained her. He felt trapped in his destiny; but even if it hadn't been for the prophecy, he knew he was never going to be able to leave her. Not again. Their relationship had become like that little dance that magnets do when their equal pole are held together. United by fate and experience, they could not be separated again, even if they'd had to deem it impossible to get any closer to the other.

Xander and Buffy had renewed their friendship. Not that either would ever have given up on the other, but the events of Sunnydale and thereafter had brought them together in friendship, closer than they had ever been before, like brother and sister, in a way. They had gotten into the habit of endless conversations during the night, when both had gotten home from work. Those dead tired talks they led, their exhaustion lending them even more sentiment and sincerity, provided an anchor for both of them. 

Around a month before his birthday, Buffy had begun to inquire Xander about Giles. Certainly, Xander had told her one thing or the other, but the Watcher had been very careful about sharing personal things or emotional details, even though he did his best to be a father of sorts to Xander. Buffy had learned that Giles had, secretly, acquired the guitar and was singing in the street; that, sometimes, he got back into his former habit of drinking too much when confronted with memories of loss, with longing, or feelings of uselessness; that he was very lonely and barely sociable, and that, as Xander had put it, he had never ever ever ever seemed so lost.

On the day of Giles' birthday, Buffy went to a nearby pawn shop. The little extra money she had saved had been wisely spent on Dawn's ticket, so she had decided to trade in her silver cross pendant for a present. The possibility of financial need in minds, she had long replaced it with a smaller, wooden one. Upon entering, a collection of ironically carefree and cheerful bells chimed, and Buffy was greeted by a surprisingly kind old lady behind a counter which was so full that it barely allowed Buffy to spot her. She briefly and matter-of-factly asked the lady to estimate the cross' worth, then went on to slowly scan through the whole shop to find something nice for Giles. At first, she considered a few books that looked an awful lot of first editions of novels, but decided that Giles was working in a book shop after all, and would have gotten what he wanted. Also, as far as the Hellmouth was concerned, they had, thanks to an overly eager and movingly helpful Wesley, received more than enough literature. After a few more strolls, she noticed a glass box of jewellery and stepped closer to look at it. Knowing that she wasn't going to be able to afford any jewellery for herself in the near future, she bit her lip and decided that a girl was allowed to dream. Upon getting closer, however, she almost fainted at the sight of a ring -- Giles' family ring -- inside the box. She gasped audibly and the shopkeeper lady approached upon the sound.

"May I help you, dear?"  
"Yes, who ... who brought this ring? Yes, that one ... with the initials ..."  
Buffy looked very troubled, and the lady explained very softly that it had been a good-looking, but very sad British guy, tall, with glasses, and with a beautiful signature, left-handed, yes. Shyly, Buffy asked what he had gotten for it.  
"A guitar, honey, and some cash. Seemed to be a valuable ring after all."  
Buffy swallowed and asked if her silver pendant was worth enough to trade it in for the ring. The lady smiled.  
"Not quite, young lady, but close. But it seems that you're personally attracted to it, is that right? I'll give it to you for your pendant and, let's say, twenty dollars. How about that, sweetheart?"  
Wordlessly, Buffy handed her the cross and collected twenty dollars in singles from her purse. The shopkeeper made her keep the chain, and Buffy managed to smile, even though her thoughts were swirling in concern.

With her brows furrowed, she sat down on the nearest bench in front of the pawn shop. She didn't even notice the sun come out, after it had been cloudy all morning. Giles had given them everything, which had, in fact, been so much that he had been obliged to trade in the last item of not only monetary, but personal value to be able to earn a little extra money by singing and playing the guitar. Some overcompensating guy screeched his tires on the crossroad near her bench, but she was sure she had nevertheless heard her heart break a little more. Giles had never been a martyr; he had been a friend, a father, n anchor, a leader, a warrior, a rationalist, a bookworm, and a hero. But they had _made_ him sacrifice all he had. And only noticed it now that all was over. Pulling up her legs, Buffy realized how many times he had done more for them, and especially for her, than he would have had to. Hell, all dreadful events aside, he had sacrificed years and years of his life -- even after being let go. Buffy sniffed a little when she realized that, in fact, he had given all his heart and soul for her and the others. And what had he gained? Nothing, apart from a bit of respect that was far too little; Xander's trust, and Dawn's love. Not that the outcome wasn't to be appreciated, but he would have deserved so much more, she thought.

Still deep in thought, she put Giles' ring on the silver chain from her cross. She had seen it so often that she was able to tell what it looked like exactly with her eyes closed. It had been on the one hand that wold have pulled her out of anywhere for so long. She hung the chain around her neck, hiding the new pendant under her blouse and ran her fingers through her hair, suddenly a little worried about her looks. She knew she had lost her shine; she looked tired and used, and she felt it. It hurt to think that he would probably think of her the same way. He, on the other hand, hadn't changed in her eyes -- only his glowingly warm smile had disappeared. Yes, he looked tired, too, but Buffy found that outwardly, he was still the same old Giles she had loved. Yes, now that she was walking towards Xander's flat, she realized she _did_ love him. She wasn't sure how much, but she knew that apart from Dawn, there was no one in the world she had come to care for so deeply. Even though they had silently grown apart, Buffy thought they still shared a bond to which there was no equal. Destiny had joined them, but something entirely different had kept them together.

When she found a phone booth near the block where Xander lived, she dialled his number to check if Giles was at home. She fiddled with the ring as Xander assured her that he was in his bedroom indeed. Before she could ring the doorbell, Xander opened as she just hid the ring beneath her blouse again. They hugged. Xander was off to a meeting with one of the firm's new clients. He'd had breakfast with Giles for his birthday, but told Buffy that the Watcher hadn't left his room since. Soft concern in his eyes, he shyly asked Buffy to be careful with him. She smiled so kindly that Xander remembered that she was able to be disarmingly lovely, and his heart ached just enough to be barely noticeable. After another hug, he left. Carefully, as if not to wake anyone, Buffy crept inside and slowly closed Xander's door. She hadn't been at his place since helping him move furniture, but quickly figured out where Giles' room was. Her heart in her knees, she knocked.

* * * 

"Just a moment, Xander," she heard his familiar voice, then her stalwart protector opened the door, immediately freezing on the threshold. His hair was wet and he was barefoot; other than that, he looked the same as always, maybe a little more exhausted. Buffy swallowed upon suspecting that his birthday was probably nothing he liked to be reminded of. In spite of that, she managed to smile. "Hi, Giles," she chimed. "Happy birthday." Before he could react, she had thrown her arms around him in a tight hug. Buffy was glad to be able to hide her face in his shoulder, so he couldn't see how close she was to tearing up. "What a surprise," Giles managed, not smiling, but joy audible in his words.

When, after half a century, they pulled apart, Buffy said -- and Giles wondered if her eyes were glistening with something -- that it had been far too long since they had last hugged, and that she had missed it. He nodded, his expression suddenly very soft. "Me, too."  
After a moment of mutual insecurity, Giles invited her inside his bedroom, apologizing half-heartedly for not having cleaned up during the week yet. Buffy took a quick look around, and although, for financial reasons, there wasn't much in it, she decided that it was very Giles. They sat on the bed and Buffy noticed stacks and stacks of books that were piled up on the floor against the wall for lack of a shelf, maps and papers, his glasses on a small table, a small bottle of scotch on the nightstand, and on a large wooden chair, a huge flowery birthday cake so colourful that it could only have been sent by Willow. Buffy smiled and pointed at it. "Yes," Giles said very lovingly, "it's from the girls: Willow, Dawn and Kennedy." Buffy almost sighed; he probably thought she had forgotten to get him something. Admittedly, she hadn't known about the cake, but then again, she had announced in front of the girls that she was going to buy something for Giles, after years of not getting him anything personal. They had strongly approved, and she hadn't given it more thought.

She noticed the guitar leaning in the corner at the side of the bed and smiled. "I see you have a new guitar." He nodded, then took a handkerchief from his pocket and started cleaning his glasses. "Yes," he answered, and she felt how uncomfortable he was with not having much to talk about, "I've missed playing." She nodded eagerly. "Back in Sunnydale, Willow said you were a god at it. And a great singer." There, he let go a small chuckle, and Buffy found it hard to breath after being deprived of Giles' smile for so long. It was just a small, mostly bitter chuckle, but it had happened. "Willow was exaggerating, as usual. I don't really --"  
"Please show me. Just a verse or something," Buffy interrupted. Slightly embarrassed, Giles put his glasses back where they belonged, and was about to decline when he looked into her pleading eyes and couldn't resist. All his life, he had tried to read Buffy's feelings, and failed so often; but looking into her eyes now, something snapped inside of him and for a fleeting moment, he thought he had read something previously unseen in them. Well, maybe not unseen, but nothing that had ever been directed at him. Shoving the thought away, he leaned down to pick up the instrument. After the first verse that had started with "So you think you can tell | heaven from hell", he felt very tempted to stop at once, but she suddenly sang the next line, and he joined for another verse, surprised by her participation. Why she held his gaze, he was unable to say, but it pulled him through the lyrics. There was so heartfelt, so genuine about her gaze that he was incapable of continuing with the chorus, and they stopped. He was embarrased, but she didn't give him time to dwell on it and praised his singing. "You really have a great voice, Giles. Willow was right."

He blushed, but felt the urge to smile inside him, stronger than ever. "Also, what a nice guitar. Where'd you get it?"  
"Uh, at o-one of the shops in the center." He nervously rubbed his left hand, and Buffy thought it looked incredibly empty without the ring. She had noticed he wasn't wearing it already a while ago, but now that she knew why, she thought that one of the reasons Xander had described him as so lost was that he had given the last piece of himself, the last thing he had possessed to define him. She studied him thoroughly, and Giles couldn't help but notice how beautiful he thought she was. She had changed so much, and truly become a woman. He had always felt more for her than he had been able to allow himself to, and now, after months of merely objective interaction, was reminded of it. His heart ached at the thought that none of the things he had wished for in his life and had been deprived of, her love had been the most unlikely and unattainable. 

She read the sadness in his eyes and could tell he was suffering, although she wasn't able to pinpoint why.  
"Giles."  
"Yes?" He tried to look confused rather than tortured.  
"I brought you something for your birthday. It's not really a present ... in the sense that it's always been yours. But I ... I thought maybe you'd want it." Hiding the ring with her palm, she pulled the chain out of her blouse, and over her head. Not seeing what it was, he said, "But Buffy, I-I can't accept that. Angel gave it to you, and --"  
She smile, and shook her head. "No. Only the chain. What's on it is yours."  
The perplexion in his expression made her want to hug him. Very slowly, she opened her hand, offering it to him. When he saw the ring, he couldn't stop a few tears from falling. She smiled very warmly and put the chain around his neck. He felt unable to form words, and she knew it was her turn to speak.

"I know it's the last thing you had that was really yours. I know you sold your flat in Devon. And I know you paid all our first rents, and out furniture. And I know it's the only thing that survived Sunnydale." One of her hands was still on his neck, and very gently, she raised it to brush away his tears. Finally, he looked up at her, and Buffy saw his whole heart in those eyes: pain, redeption, despair, and gratitude -- and a love so enduring, so patient, that she couldn't even begin to fathom it.  
"Thank you," he rasped.

Having caught a glimpse inside Giles, her Giles, she wanted nothing more than to, finally, respond in kind. She cast at him a very tiny smile, and before he could move, kissed him on the lips: chastely, but with such intensity that Giles felt his heart burst into tiny radiating pieces that he was sure were humming and twirling around them. Struggling to understand, he met her eyes. "I love you, Giles. I love you," she whispered, causing him to smile as genuinely as he hadn't ever since the last hug they had shared in Sunnydale, and she felt her heart leap. Inexplicable joy suddenly filling the whole of him, he pulled her to him again, crushing kiss after kiss on her soft lips, their bodies coming together like magnets, making her wonder how they were ever going to let go of each other again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think :)


End file.
